The MoB was so fortunate to welcome back Auburn Meisner, LMSW! Auburn is a licensed social worker and sex therapist specializing in sex therapy for individuals and relationships. SEX is not an easy topic for parents to talk about with their kids, but Auburn made this topic a bit easier for us to start and continue to discuss with our boys.
Begin early with a small conversations about their bodies and your body, use correct terminology and be as comfortable as possible. If they know you are open to talking about tough subjects, then they are more likely to come to you with questions and concerns. Our son's lives can me a total mystery at times, just being open to them gives them an opportunity to talk . With social media giving our boys false images of sex as Moms we need to clarify and get involved early in our boys lives.
Please contact Auburn with any question. ideas, concerns. She would love to hear from you and also help you if you are stuck in any way.
Auburn R Meisner LMSW
Sex and Relationship Therapist
Intimate Inquiries LLC
Resources you can share with your kids to help them become sexually intelligent:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/info-for-teens/ – Planned Parenthood website are pretty much guaranteed to provide straight up information about sex even if you aren’t about being straight.
http://www.scarleteen.com – Since 1998, Scarleteen has been sharing sound sex and sexuality information with those in their teens and 20s. I find it visually confusing but I’m not their target market.
http://teenhealthsource.com – A sexual health information service run for and by youth. Whether teens need information about birth control, sexually transmitted infections, healthy relationships, or puberty, this site provides information in a non-judgmental, sex-positive, pro-choice, and inclusive way.
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/ – Questions, asked by young adults – about sex, relationships, physical and emotional well being – answered by responsive, sex-positive pros.
http://www.teenagehealthfreak.org/topics – cringe-free health information geared to younger teenagers. Based in the UK, this site covers sex and sexuality but also drugs, alcohol, body image, etc. The information is relatively good but sometimes limited to the UK context.
http://www.lacigreen.tv – Laci Green is a young, outspoken and sex-positive advocate. She says it like it is and no harm, only good, will come from teens listening to what she has to say.
http://www.hookingupandstayinghooked.com – A resource for straight teen boys. Honest & sex-positive and full of tips on how to be a righteous dude when it comes to liking girls, dating girls, being sexy with girls and even ending relationships with girls.
Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book About Facts Of Life - Meg Hickling A great book covering all the basics: proper body names, private body parts, conception, pregnancy, birth.
What Makes a Baby – Cory Silverberg For pre-schoolers til 6 or 8, this storybook covers conception, gestation and birth in a way that works regardless of whether or not the kid in question was adopted, conceived from sexual intercourse or in all the ways that fertilization can otherwise occur. It is inclusive of different kinds of families and family composition which means that it’s a story best experienced when coupled with rich discussion.
Who Has What? All About Girls’ Bodies and Boys’ Bodies – Robie H. Harris A great book to help small kids understand their own bodies and the bodies of others. It points out the vast similarities between girl and boy bodies and identifies the differences in a understandable and appropriate way.
It’s Not the Stork A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends’, It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families , It’s Perfectly Normal: Growing Up, Changing Bodies, Sex and Sexual Health – Robie H. Harris The first is for ages 4+, then 7-10, then 10+. Content is detailed but age appropriate. Illustrations are gorgeous.
What’s the Big Secret? Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys – Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
Breaks down some gender identity stuff while reinforcing others, this book for 4-7 year olds covers anatomy, body curiosity (looking, masturbating, privacy), intercourse, conception and pregnancy.
Being a Boy – James Dawson
This book tries to be ‘cool’ as it reaches out to its readers. But the content is generally sound and the approach may very well work. Ie. on condoms – “as long as they prevent spooge from entering the looloo, that’s all that counts.” The section on porn is pretty good. It doesn’t say porn is bad but is full of info on its limitations.
Growing Up Inside and Out – Kira Vermond This book is a nice corrollary to one of the Madaras books listed above since it doesn’t spend time on the physical changes apart from mentioning them. The focus here is on the emotional impact of these changes and other changes too. From fitting in and gaining self-confidence, to new relationships and human sexuality, this book provides some good tips for managing the mystery and anxiety that can come from adolescence.
s.e.x – Heather Corinna
This is the ‘all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide’ to get young people through high school and college. A bible of sorts. It’s kind of dense but everything is in there and really asks its readers to be mindful, autonomous sexual beings.
The ‘What’s Happening to my Body?’ Book for Girls & Book for Boys ; – Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras They are comprehensive and straight up. Some puberty books are glossy and fun. This one doesn’t mess around. I’d guess any (prepubescent kid would go to this book time after time. The ‘boy’ version has a chapter on ‘girls and puberty’ and visa versa.
The Boy’s Body Book The Girl’s Body Book - Kelli Dunham
This is a nice intro book to puberty. It covers the physical changes but also hits on all the ways boys have to look after themselves. It touches on homework and teachers, curfews and chores, friendship and romance, peer-pressure and alcohol use.