Keep Your Tweens & Teens Talking with Kerry Stutzman, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Train your boys to talk to you.
Tell them you are safe to talk to.
If you want your Boys to talk to you when they are older, then try and listen more and lecture less!
Listen, don't judge!
If you want your kids to talk to you, then you have to learn to listen!
When you are trying to figure out what to do in an extreme situation, you have 3 choices: Scream, Lecture or Punish. Instead not choosing those try and slow down and use Empathy!
Strategies on how to Listen:
Honor- Honor your children as learners.
Empathy- You can never go wrong with leading a conversation with empathy. Connect and hear what they are thinking. Step in their shoes and try to understand.
Available- Listen and invite your son into a conversation but expect rejection. Don’t let him see that you are reje3cted. Keep open arms and know when to put on the brakes. Find the time to listen and be available!
Remember- Remember that your kids are learners. What kind of mom do you want your boys to have? What did you need more of when you were younger? Answer these questions so oyu know what to pass on to your kids.
Kerry Stutzman, founder of Head & Heart Parents, Licensed marriage & Family Therapist
3600 S. Yosemite Street Suite 1050
Denver, CO 80237
The first monthly micro writing workshop was a new experience for all of us. It was an hour and a half of Barbara Stoker, author of 3 books, giving us prompts for different writing sessions. This was the perfect time to write something new, create a special piece for your boys or learn how to say more with less words.
Some of the things that came out of the workshop:
“Totally out of my comfort zone”
“Makes me feel youthful”
“Writing release my stress”
“Self growth through learning something new”
“Writing helped me get to know myself”
Dana is getting subtle gold silk strands tied in her beautiful hair!
MoBsters took a break from their boy home front and connected over some rose’, delicious bites and sparkle strands for our hair!
Rachel Collins from Lucky Locks tied in some colorful strands to give our MoBster a little burst of fun.
Check out their website: www.luckylocks.com
An evening in Lisa’s wonderful backyard with wine, yummies and puppies….a perfect combination.
Katie Koestner answered many questions concerning the legal ramifications our boys face today with our ever changing world. Ms. Koestener is a mother of two boys and understands the tricky world we live in.
If something serious has happened in your boy world please reach out to Katie and she can give you honest information. She will guide you in the right direction.
Here are a few notes from Katie’s Talk:
~Boys learn so much from parental relationships. You are modeling communication, affection, admitting mistakes, arguing, boundaries and fun.
~Consent is permission and is needed for every step in a sexual experience. A yes to kissing does not mean a yes to sexual intercourse. Consent can withdrawn at any moment. Silence means NO. Accept rejection, do not try to convince a NO into a YES. A yes 30 minutes prior is not a current yes, need to keep asking.
~The Hookup is the HIGHEST risk activity because the two people do not know each others behaviors and it has the regret syndrome. AVOID AVOID AVOID!
~Use school email for school work. Use private email to communicate with friends and family.
~ Once alcohol is involved DO NOT get intimate.
~Boys should not buy anyone drinks, it’s too risky and could come back to haunt your boys.
~Average age for for sexual experience for boys and girls is 13 years old which means the conversations with boys need to begin earlier.
~Boys should remain neutral if one of their friends is involved in a lawsuit. Do not express any opinion because it could be used against them.
~If a teacher or a coach over hears about inappropriate behavior of any kind they have to report it.
~3 Jurisdictions that can be involved in a legal issue: Campus, Civil and Criminal
Campus: Any action that occurs on school owned or controlled property and any action that occurs off-campus but has a negative impact on the school environment.
Civil: Disputes between members of society
Criminal: State or Federal law broken
~ Good Resource for Questions: www.askalice.com
Thank you Colorado Academy for hosting this event with the MoB.
It was great to see our friends outside of the MoB, aiming to raise good boys into great men.
Define Overuse Injury & Overtraining
Review common pediatric overuse injury
Review common acute injuries
Discuss example cases
Highlight prevention, management & return
to play / return to activity guidelines
Discuss Psychology of Injury
Increase in youth sports participation§ 30-50 million/yr, ages 6-18 yrs
One sport, several teams, tournament play§ Overlapping seasons, no rest
Year-Round: No “off season”
Nearly 50% of all injuries in youth are overuse
Overuse vs Overtraining
Chronic injury presumed to result from§ constant high levels of physiologic stress
insufficient recovery time
“unresolved submaximal stress in previously normal tissues”
The 4 Stages of Overuse Injury
(1) Pain in the affected area after physical activity
(2) Pain during the activity, without restricting performance
(3) Pain during the activity that restricts performance
(4) Chronic, unremitting pain even at rest
Young Athletes and Overuse Injuries
Developing skeleton cannot handle the stress that mature bone can
Overuse injuries from repetition, intensity, and improper biomechanics
Rapid increase in activity
Lack of sport-specific skills or strength
Type A: Elite, fit, driven
The Structures at Risk
Treatment of Overuse Injuries
Identify & modify risk factors
• Relativerest/Activitymodification• Ice
Protection / Modalities
Prevention of Common Injuries
Conditioning / weights / flexibility
Proper sport technique
Proper injury treatment and rehab
Maximum sporting activity: 5 days / wk
Minimum rest: 1 day / wk
Seasonal rest: 2-3 months off / yr
Max. training increase: 10% / wk
Participate on only 1 team / season
Education : Information is Power
Three common cause of problems in injured athletes:
1. Unfamiliarity: surprises can cause doubt and anxiety.
2. Unpredictability: normal and expected events are seen as upsetting and detrimental.
3. Lack of control: they do not feel they can actively contributeandparticipateintheirrecovery. Feelingsof control lead to confidence, motivation, decreased anxiety, increasedimmuneactivityanddecreasedpain. Information can help provide a sense of control.
The Role of the Sports Medicine Professional
Providing safety and support is vital because bad feelings often leave a person feeling disempoweredor a loss of connection.
¡ There is a greater chance an athlete will talk about their fears with an athletic trainer, if they first feel that that person understands them
¡ Helping athletes regain a sense of control is an
important part of the athletic trainer’s role
Resistance to Sharing Emotions
* Athletes may be fearful of:
Being invalidated and having their feelings discounted
Being ignored and unheard
Seeing that others are burdened or hurt by their feeling