The MoB was so fortunate to welcome back Auburn Meisner, LMSW! Auburn is a licensed social worker and sex therapist specializing in sex therapy for individuals and relationships. SEX is not an easy topic for parents to talk about with their kids, but Auburn made this topic a bit easier for us to start and continue to discuss with our boys.
Begin early with a small conversations about their bodies and your body, use correct terminology and be as comfortable as possible. If they know you are open to talking about tough subjects, then they are more likely to come to you with questions and concerns. Our son's lives can me a total mystery at times, just being open to them gives them an opportunity to talk . With social media giving our boys false images of sex as Moms we need to clarify and get involved early in our boys lives.
Please contact Auburn with any question. ideas, concerns. She would love to hear from you and also help you if you are stuck in any way.
Auburn R Meisner LMSW
Sex and Relationship Therapist
Intimate Inquiries LLC
Resources you can share with your kids to help them become sexually intelligent:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/info-for-teens/ – Planned Parenthood website are pretty much guaranteed to provide straight up information about sex even if you aren’t about being straight.
http://www.scarleteen.com – Since 1998, Scarleteen has been sharing sound sex and sexuality information with those in their teens and 20s. I find it visually confusing but I’m not their target market.
http://teenhealthsource.com – A sexual health information service run for and by youth. Whether teens need information about birth control, sexually transmitted infections, healthy relationships, or puberty, this site provides information in a non-judgmental, sex-positive, pro-choice, and inclusive way.
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/ – Questions, asked by young adults – about sex, relationships, physical and emotional well being – answered by responsive, sex-positive pros.
http://www.teenagehealthfreak.org/topics – cringe-free health information geared to younger teenagers. Based in the UK, this site covers sex and sexuality but also drugs, alcohol, body image, etc. The information is relatively good but sometimes limited to the UK context.
http://www.lacigreen.tv – Laci Green is a young, outspoken and sex-positive advocate. She says it like it is and no harm, only good, will come from teens listening to what she has to say.
http://www.hookingupandstayinghooked.com – A resource for straight teen boys. Honest & sex-positive and full of tips on how to be a righteous dude when it comes to liking girls, dating girls, being sexy with girls and even ending relationships with girls.
Boys, Girls & Body Science: A First Book About Facts Of Life - Meg Hickling A great book covering all the basics: proper body names, private body parts, conception, pregnancy, birth.
What Makes a Baby – Cory Silverberg For pre-schoolers til 6 or 8, this storybook covers conception, gestation and birth in a way that works regardless of whether or not the kid in question was adopted, conceived from sexual intercourse or in all the ways that fertilization can otherwise occur. It is inclusive of different kinds of families and family composition which means that it’s a story best experienced when coupled with rich discussion.
Who Has What? All About Girls’ Bodies and Boys’ Bodies – Robie H. Harris A great book to help small kids understand their own bodies and the bodies of others. It points out the vast similarities between girl and boy bodies and identifies the differences in a understandable and appropriate way.
It’s Not the Stork A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends’, It’s So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families , It’s Perfectly Normal: Growing Up, Changing Bodies, Sex and Sexual Health – Robie H. Harris The first is for ages 4+, then 7-10, then 10+. Content is detailed but age appropriate. Illustrations are gorgeous.
What’s the Big Secret? Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys – Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
Breaks down some gender identity stuff while reinforcing others, this book for 4-7 year olds covers anatomy, body curiosity (looking, masturbating, privacy), intercourse, conception and pregnancy.
Being a Boy – James Dawson
This book tries to be ‘cool’ as it reaches out to its readers. But the content is generally sound and the approach may very well work. Ie. on condoms – “as long as they prevent spooge from entering the looloo, that’s all that counts.” The section on porn is pretty good. It doesn’t say porn is bad but is full of info on its limitations.
Growing Up Inside and Out – Kira Vermond This book is a nice corrollary to one of the Madaras books listed above since it doesn’t spend time on the physical changes apart from mentioning them. The focus here is on the emotional impact of these changes and other changes too. From fitting in and gaining self-confidence, to new relationships and human sexuality, this book provides some good tips for managing the mystery and anxiety that can come from adolescence.
s.e.x – Heather Corinna
This is the ‘all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide’ to get young people through high school and college. A bible of sorts. It’s kind of dense but everything is in there and really asks its readers to be mindful, autonomous sexual beings.
The ‘What’s Happening to my Body?’ Book for Girls & Book for Boys ; – Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras They are comprehensive and straight up. Some puberty books are glossy and fun. This one doesn’t mess around. I’d guess any (prepubescent kid would go to this book time after time. The ‘boy’ version has a chapter on ‘girls and puberty’ and visa versa.
The Boy’s Body Book The Girl’s Body Book - Kelli Dunham
This is a nice intro book to puberty. It covers the physical changes but also hits on all the ways boys have to look after themselves. It touches on homework and teachers, curfews and chores, friendship and romance, peer-pressure and alcohol use.
As women, we have specific financial needs that require special attention and careful planning. Jo-Ann Holst, is an independent Certified Financial Planner, Best Selling Author and President of FUEL Financial, and Jo-Ann Holst Advisers. She lead us through the building blocks for creating financial stability. In this session we reviewed financial self-care now and in the future. Jo-Ann shared tips on how to cultivate financial awareness and responsibility in your sons by being save ourselves. Some of the critical components that we covered:
· How to master the role of primary financial decision maker
· Where you need to be putting yourself first
· How to balance safety and risk
· What questions should you be asking a financial planner
· The importance of having a written, comprehensive financial plan
· Thriving through divorce or widowhood
· How to have relevant conversation with your boys about money
· How to teach your boys the importance of financial responsibility
· How to set financial boundaries with your boys
Please contact Jo-Ann Holst with financial questions.
Jo-Ann Holst, CFP
555 South Wadsworth Blvd.
Lakewood, CO 80226
Denver's own Debra Fine, a former engineer who is now a nationally recognized speaker, communication guru and bestselling author joined the MoB for a stimulating conversation. Debra's fast paced, informative and entertaining presentation, The Fine Art of Small Talk had all of us laughing as well as pensive. Together we giggled about the awkward conversations with the conversation dominator or the ones who honestly give you NOTHING in response to your efforts. We learned ways to notice the solo people in a group or even them ones who are especially shy and reach out. It is our responsibility to start a conversation with men or women who are not engaged in your soccer side lines or parent nights at school. Take a risk and start up a conversation with someone new at school or work and see what happens. ALWAYS start conversations with Catch me up on... OR Fill me in on ... NOT How are you! We all left the MoB event with insightful and informative skills on how to strike up conversations and keep them going, ways to avoid conversation “killers” and tricks make the most of any interaction with our teen sons. We learned how to turn every conversation into an opportunity for success.
The key is to be present with all your interactions with people in your life. If you truly listen when you meet someone new and you repeat their names in your mind with focus, then you have a better chance and remembering their names. Try it!
Debra Fine is the author of bestselling books The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills—and Leave a Positive Impression (Hachette) and The Fine Art of the Big Talk (Hachette) along with her just released third in the Fine Art series: Beyond Texting The Fine Art of Face to Face Communication for Teenagers (Canon). All of her books are available on Amazon. Her books are translated and published in two dozen countries across the globe. A 20+ year member of the National Speakers Association, Fine presents programs to hundreds of audiences around the world that include Google, Delta Airlines, COMERICA Banks, KPMG, General Electric, and PCL Construction. A regular Huffington Post blogger, Fine's recent media appearances include The Today Show, The Toronto Sun, NPR Morning Edition, Fox Business News and CNN. View additional information about Debra at www.DebraFine.com
The MoB 2017 Holiday Party was a fun and progressive night of eating and drinking! The night started off at The Bansbach House with lots of appetizers and drinks. We shuttled our MoBsters and MoBmen to the next houses via beautifully lit up golf carts with cozy blankets to keep everyone warm! A delicious dinner was hosted at The Morley House and the night concluded with desserts and drinks at The Zilinksas House!
This was an incredible night for all!!!!!
We heard the harsh realities of poor decision making by young adults. Unfortunately, terrible things can happened to young boys through our juvenile system and it is best to be prepared. Attorneys, Michael Frederick and David Ganderton (MoBster's husband:) touched on many local cases and educated us on the details.
Check on your insurance policy and make sure you have good coverage if an accident should happen. Look to see if you have UIM; underinsured motorist coverage. It will cost you little for big coverage in case there is an accident.
What is important to reiterate with your boys...
PUSHING SEND ON AN EMAIL, LEAVING A VOICEMAIL AND SENDING A TEXT IS FOREVER....EVERYTHING CAN BE TRACED BACK TO YOUR PHONE!
Please contact David Ganderton and Michael Frederick with any questions you may have.
Frederick-Ganderton Attorneys at Law 720-588-9120
5350 South Roslyn Street #430 Greenwood Village, CO 80111
Melissa Hirsch is our amazing photographer. Here is her website: www.melissahirschphotography.com
Thank you ON TAP KITCHEN for providing amazing pretzels....our new MoB addiction. www.ontapkitchen.com
We had a wonderful interactive conversation with author Lisa Lane Filholm about how to survive the balancing act of parenting teenage boys. Lisa shared tips and tools to use immediately and gas us hope for our sometimes frazzled families!
Lisa believes that parents of teenagers need new role models. For example, when our cubs are young, Mama Bear is a fine example: strong, smart, sassy, sure of herself. When our kids turn into adolescents, we become dangerous role models. When puberty hits and life turns into a three-ring circus, we get overwhelmed, scared, frustrated and Mama Bear hibernates. In other words, Mama Bear goes to sleep on the job. Parents do the same: we tend to check out (because teenagers are awful and we're exhausted), leaving our kids vulnerable on their rocky journey toward adulthood. Does this all sound familiar?
The evening was fun and enlightening with women sharing their struggles and ideas to parent through the difficult times. Lisa's book "Beyond Mama Bear; Surviving the Balancing Act of Preempting Teenage Boys" can be bought on amazon. It is a GREAT resource and also a great gift for our girlfriend who might have some struggles with her kids.
THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS PARENTS OF TEENS SHOULD ASK OURSELVES
- KNOW - Do I know what's really going on?
- PROTECT - Must I protect my child from real and present danger?
- HONOR - Can I honor my teenager's unique journey toward adulthood?
The most important take way from the evening is that you are not alone in raising all your boys. We have each other and the MoB has resources available for you if you need anything. We are here or you, Sandi and Eileen